It's almost over, or is it?

A lot has been going on lately. School is wrapping up (yay!) and I'm still contemplating summer school. I'd have about a month off before that starts, but still, do I really wanna do it? It's been getting super hot around here and I've been checking prices on above ground pools. I just need something to float in, but I suppose the public pool would work to. It's just such a hassle when I could have one in my back yard and just float without disruption. We'll see where we go with that, hubby is convinced they're dangerous, but my argument is that Chas won't be staying here after she's out of school. Today's the first day I've been swollen all day. I normally start out normal and gradually work up to swollen. It's so miserable! I'm looking forward to labor and birth and postpartum, but, I am definitely enjoying the me time I've been getting lately. My poor husband is so bogged down at work that he doesn't even come to bed until late anymore. I miss our snuggle time, but I know once we get some more just us time, we'll have the opportunity to. Mother's day is next Sunday and I'm really excited. Is it wrong to say I'll be disappointed if my husband fails? I don't want to think this way, but sometimes it's hard. My cousin is getting married tomorrow and that brings back such memories. I was so relieved when my wedding was over and it was all said and done. I like the married part better than the planning and getting married part. I know some women like being the princess for the day, but come on! Unless you are Kate Middleton, you have so much work you have to do and you know your fiancee is going to be no help. I think the only part of the royal wedding I envied was the fact that most of the decisions were already made for them, no stress except the kind that comes along with marrying into a royal family and then the pressure to pop out heirs. Oi. Anyway, I digress. Baby has been so squirmy lately and I love it! However, she sometimes kicks me in the bowel and let me tell you, it hurts like no other! At least I'm not constipated or believe me, I'd be having issues. haha. Well, I've gotta get going. Update soon.

31 weeks 1 day

OMG, I cannot even believe I'm going to be meeting my little girl so soon! Last night was the last night of our Bradley classes. It was sad but it just means we're that much closer to meeting our baby. Baby has definitely started dropping. I get these weird sensations all of a sudden that feel like I need to pee like NOW, however, when I try, nothing comes out or just a trickle. It isn't all of the time, so I think it's baby girl's head hitting my cervix/bladder. I've also had the worst bronchitis/asthma for the last week. I had a Dr. appt. scheduled yesterday but he couldn't make it there because he was delivering a baby. I had to reschedule to tomorrow, so, along with my first baby shower, I have class and an OB appt. Hopefully he can give me something better than my albuterol. It's kind of working, but I have to be attached to that inhaler or I risk having an attack. My poor husband wanted to put me on bed rest until it's gone, but, let's face it, that isn't happening. I've been cleaning all morning and my kitchen is almost done! Besides some organizing and cleaning in our bedroom and our back patio, it's almost done! When my niece moves out, we'll get Eliza's room done and I'll feel so much better about that room. She is the most disgusting little girl when it comes to her room. She's gotten better but man, I don't understand why she wants to live in a bedroom like that. My brother let dog poop and dirty diapers hang around her room before she moved in with me and I have a feeling that's why she doesn't care. I feel bad too that a lot of her stuff is still in boxes from moving from our other house. It seems silly to unpack it now just for her to go to my dad's house after school lets out. She understands as much as a 7 year old can, but she has been able to make the room her own while living here. She doesn't want to leave and it hurts my heart but I can't raise my brother's kid especially when he's interested in improving that situation. Only time will tell, but until then, I'm in nesting mode and will be working on the house up until baby comes. :)

April

Happiness

So, after a very disgusting fight with my mom last night (the claws definitely came out and it wasn't pretty) and discouraging news that the temporary guardianship that my brother gave to my husband and me is invalid because it was done improperly, I decided to reflect. *Sigh* Today in in my SWU 295 class, we discussed keeping the worker balanced and how to avoid burn-out. This discussion was very enlightening in that, I have sucky boundaries with my brother and my mom. On my drive home from school, I popped in a CD and pondered what it was that I really want in my life. The first thing that popped into my head was happiness. Then I reflected some more. Happiness was what I always asked for; even when I was little. It seems so simple, but always ends up being complicated. I then thought of the things in my life that make me happy. I figured it was always easy to come up with things that make me unhappy, why not try something different for once. In ten minutes, this was my list:

• When it rains in the desert (the smell, the sounds, all of the sensory details)
• Snuggling with my pets...it's so nice to pet them and cuddle
• Having spouse time with my husband. My favorite memory of this was when we made dinner together one night. It was so much fun.
• Watching Top Gear UK. I laugh so hard.
• Feeling my baby girl move within me...it's so undescribable
• Completing a particularly difficult and grueling piece of course work and doing a great job.
• GOD/Jesus (this is first on my list always, but for this sake, came to mind in this order)
• Dancing like no one is watching...it's so liberating
• Just hanging out with my best friend. We just get eachother.
• Laughing. I love to laugh. Enough said.
• The smell of dance shoes. It helps that my husband's brother owns a dance shop. I go there just for the smells. :)
• Traveling to new places and experiencing the food, culture, ect.

This was just my list in 10 mins. I was so surprised with the amount I was able to come up with. From now on, I'm taking my happiness in my own hands. As my husband said to me, "why lease space to someone in you brain that doesn't care about what they do to you?" He's such a brilliant man. So, everyone, I wish you all a happy life and a happy day!

Panic attack and foot in the mouth...

So, the weekend was filled with cleaning that still isn't finished. That's OK...I feel great about what we did accomplish. This morning we woke up a little late (for me it was only by 15 mins. for my husband, more like 45 mins.) and I didn't even notice he was still sawing logs because I was so busy making eggs and bagels for breakfast. lol. Once we got Chas to school and him to work, I drove to the tax man's office to drop off some paperwork that hubby forgot to get to him and came home. The calico cat and the dog greeted me joyfully at the door, but my little baby cat (who's almost 3 years old, lol) was no where to be found. So I searched for 35 mins. with no luck. I immediately went into panic mode and started freaking out thinking my niece let the cat out by accident. I ended up calling hubby and sobbing and he told me to calm down. Then after saying some things I regretted about my niece, I walked into the kitchen and went to pull a chair out from the table...it's heaviness gave Preston away and I felt like the biggest jerk. I was hoping I could just get off the phone and not have to pay the piper...hubby wouldn't let me off that easily and voiced to me how I can NEVER say those things to my niece, ect. ect. I assured him I never would and never have and that we should just let it go. He agreed and here I sit with a tense tummy and swollen eyeballs. LOL. Pregnancy hormones...gotta love 'em. So, the moral of this story is, the cat is probably not gone, just sleeping somewhere he doesn't want you to know and don't react before you know what really happened. O, and I told my hubby not to shut the bedroom door anymore...for my sanity...the animals all congregate in there to sleep during the day and when he shuts the door, stuff like this happens. He was worried I was blaming him, but I assured him I knew he only ever did it out of habit. *sigh* On other news...

Baby Eliza is growing PERFECT! Dr. appt. went really well. I don't have anemia or gestational diabetes and little girl grew and the Dr. was happy with all of that. We saw her via ultrasound again on Saturday and she gave us more face time than the last 3 sessions, which was wonderful! Life is great. :)

3rd Trimester! Yesssssssssssss!

So, my last post was at a low point, but I can proudly and officially say that train wreck girl friend has been officially ousted from my life! Yay! My brother took it surprisingly well I guess, but then again, that's only being stated from a post card. Anyway...

My 28 week appointment (well, I was 27 weeks and 2 days) was, uhm, well it was. I had the glucose test and I had to drink that awful glucola. Not that it tasted bad per say, it's just, I don't really eat super sweet things not to mention ever drink them. I had a pretty good breakfast of eggs and bacon that morning, but had to fast after I drank the glucola. Needless to say, I felt sick. So, I went to the appointment well hydrated and feeling under-fed hoping for continued good news. When I got in to be weighed, I found out I gained 4 more lbs. So, all in all, based on that appointment, I've gained a total of 8 lbs. Not too bad for someone eating a healthy diet with cheats every once in a while. Then the nurse took my bp, it was 120/70 which is really good. After that, I saw my OB and he looked at some little rashes I had developed and gave me advice on treatment of them, felt my little shoulder cyst and said no worries, then had me lay on the exam bench. First he measured my fundal height. Then he listened to baby girl's heart beat for what seemed like forever. When he helped me sit up, he told me I had to come back in in two weeks because I measured the same as over a month ago at my 20 week appointment. I was out of it, so I didn't think to ask about what it meant or if I should worry. I've kind of just let things takes it's course and my dad's GF (who's a nurse) told me to just take it easy, babies grow at their own pace and that she was sure everything was fine with Eliza. I'm eagerly awaiting next week's appointment because my husband even commented on how he thought I looked as if I was definitely growing.

On other news, I had a 4D ultra-sound done on baby girl...er, well, 3 of them because my little monkey has decided to turn into a sleeping lioness who enjoys face to spine time with mommy. haha. I have to go back when I'm 30 weeks to try one more time, which the tech said would probably work out better for us. However, I did manage to get a couple good shots of Eliza's face, and I'll go ahead and share them with you guys.

The first shot is pretty clear, notice those chubby cheeks! Haha, the second shot is a face shot as well, but she has her entire foot under her chin. You can see the heel starting on the left and her toes pointing to the right. God I am so in love with her. Anyway, thought I'd share!

When It's Hard To Deal With Stupid People and When You're Just Pregnant.

My brother. I love him. I hate him. I just wish he would get his life together. He tends to get involved with girls with emotional problems, and maybe that's just because they're the only ones willing to deal with a guy in and out of jail and two kids he doesn't take care of. The latest train wreck started out nice but has since managed to get completely under my skin and make my stress levels go through the roof. I feel like I have no one to talk to about all of this because my husband and my family all agree I should just boot her out of my life. Easy enough to say. Doing is a totally different thing. What makes all of this hard is that I have temporary custody of my 7 year old niece. My brother has delegated this girl to doing a lot of stuff for him while he is currently incarcerated. Unfortunately for me, that means that he deals with her more than he does with me (and its obviously limited because of his not being able to make calls, ect.) So, what do I do? She is the biggest headache in my life right now. I can handle pregnancy stressors like puking my breakfast up or tension headaches or even the occasional swelling of limbs. However, I don't know how to handle this curve ball. jfkajjgk aop; is all I can say. ...

My goodness, how time flies!

So, here I sit, nearly 26 weeks along in my pregnancy. I cannot even believe how fast this has gone by (not that I'm complaining). This coming week I'm on spring break from school--no niece, no homework. I'm really looking forward to cleaning my house, lounging around, and loving on my husband. This weekend we've really done nothing but just spend time with each other, which has been SO nice. I'm really starting to feel like this pregnancy is for real and I love that my belly is small and cute--not huge like my mom's whale pregnancies. Everyone keeps asking me when we'll try again, and I just keep saying to them, can't I just revel in the birth and existence of this one first? I don't know when we'll decide we want another one, at LEAST not until after graduate school. So, 2-3 years, which, I think sounds fantastic. I also want to think about a second baby when our house is built and we're living in it. I think being pregnant/having a second would make it much more difficult in that aspect. Anyway, on other news--getting a second 3D scan on Tuesday/Wednesday I think. This totally works out because I'll be 26 weeks and the baby will be much clearer and easier to see than during my 18 week scan. So exciting! Well, as the days come and go, I'll post when I can. Adios!