It's almost over, or is it?

A lot has been going on lately. School is wrapping up (yay!) and I'm still contemplating summer school. I'd have about a month off before that starts, but still, do I really wanna do it? It's been getting super hot around here and I've been checking prices on above ground pools. I just need something to float in, but I suppose the public pool would work to. It's just such a hassle when I could have one in my back yard and just float without disruption. We'll see where we go with that, hubby is convinced they're dangerous, but my argument is that Chas won't be staying here after she's out of school. Today's the first day I've been swollen all day. I normally start out normal and gradually work up to swollen. It's so miserable! I'm looking forward to labor and birth and postpartum, but, I am definitely enjoying the me time I've been getting lately. My poor husband is so bogged down at work that he doesn't even come to bed until late anymore. I miss our snuggle time, but I know once we get some more just us time, we'll have the opportunity to. Mother's day is next Sunday and I'm really excited. Is it wrong to say I'll be disappointed if my husband fails? I don't want to think this way, but sometimes it's hard. My cousin is getting married tomorrow and that brings back such memories. I was so relieved when my wedding was over and it was all said and done. I like the married part better than the planning and getting married part. I know some women like being the princess for the day, but come on! Unless you are Kate Middleton, you have so much work you have to do and you know your fiancee is going to be no help. I think the only part of the royal wedding I envied was the fact that most of the decisions were already made for them, no stress except the kind that comes along with marrying into a royal family and then the pressure to pop out heirs. Oi. Anyway, I digress. Baby has been so squirmy lately and I love it! However, she sometimes kicks me in the bowel and let me tell you, it hurts like no other! At least I'm not constipated or believe me, I'd be having issues. haha. Well, I've gotta get going. Update soon.

31 weeks 1 day

OMG, I cannot even believe I'm going to be meeting my little girl so soon! Last night was the last night of our Bradley classes. It was sad but it just means we're that much closer to meeting our baby. Baby has definitely started dropping. I get these weird sensations all of a sudden that feel like I need to pee like NOW, however, when I try, nothing comes out or just a trickle. It isn't all of the time, so I think it's baby girl's head hitting my cervix/bladder. I've also had the worst bronchitis/asthma for the last week. I had a Dr. appt. scheduled yesterday but he couldn't make it there because he was delivering a baby. I had to reschedule to tomorrow, so, along with my first baby shower, I have class and an OB appt. Hopefully he can give me something better than my albuterol. It's kind of working, but I have to be attached to that inhaler or I risk having an attack. My poor husband wanted to put me on bed rest until it's gone, but, let's face it, that isn't happening. I've been cleaning all morning and my kitchen is almost done! Besides some organizing and cleaning in our bedroom and our back patio, it's almost done! When my niece moves out, we'll get Eliza's room done and I'll feel so much better about that room. She is the most disgusting little girl when it comes to her room. She's gotten better but man, I don't understand why she wants to live in a bedroom like that. My brother let dog poop and dirty diapers hang around her room before she moved in with me and I have a feeling that's why she doesn't care. I feel bad too that a lot of her stuff is still in boxes from moving from our other house. It seems silly to unpack it now just for her to go to my dad's house after school lets out. She understands as much as a 7 year old can, but she has been able to make the room her own while living here. She doesn't want to leave and it hurts my heart but I can't raise my brother's kid especially when he's interested in improving that situation. Only time will tell, but until then, I'm in nesting mode and will be working on the house up until baby comes. :)

April

Happiness

So, after a very disgusting fight with my mom last night (the claws definitely came out and it wasn't pretty) and discouraging news that the temporary guardianship that my brother gave to my husband and me is invalid because it was done improperly, I decided to reflect. *Sigh* Today in in my SWU 295 class, we discussed keeping the worker balanced and how to avoid burn-out. This discussion was very enlightening in that, I have sucky boundaries with my brother and my mom. On my drive home from school, I popped in a CD and pondered what it was that I really want in my life. The first thing that popped into my head was happiness. Then I reflected some more. Happiness was what I always asked for; even when I was little. It seems so simple, but always ends up being complicated. I then thought of the things in my life that make me happy. I figured it was always easy to come up with things that make me unhappy, why not try something different for once. In ten minutes, this was my list:

• When it rains in the desert (the smell, the sounds, all of the sensory details)
• Snuggling with my pets...it's so nice to pet them and cuddle
• Having spouse time with my husband. My favorite memory of this was when we made dinner together one night. It was so much fun.
• Watching Top Gear UK. I laugh so hard.
• Feeling my baby girl move within me...it's so undescribable
• Completing a particularly difficult and grueling piece of course work and doing a great job.
• GOD/Jesus (this is first on my list always, but for this sake, came to mind in this order)
• Dancing like no one is watching...it's so liberating
• Just hanging out with my best friend. We just get eachother.
• Laughing. I love to laugh. Enough said.
• The smell of dance shoes. It helps that my husband's brother owns a dance shop. I go there just for the smells. :)
• Traveling to new places and experiencing the food, culture, ect.

This was just my list in 10 mins. I was so surprised with the amount I was able to come up with. From now on, I'm taking my happiness in my own hands. As my husband said to me, "why lease space to someone in you brain that doesn't care about what they do to you?" He's such a brilliant man. So, everyone, I wish you all a happy life and a happy day!

Panic attack and foot in the mouth...

So, the weekend was filled with cleaning that still isn't finished. That's OK...I feel great about what we did accomplish. This morning we woke up a little late (for me it was only by 15 mins. for my husband, more like 45 mins.) and I didn't even notice he was still sawing logs because I was so busy making eggs and bagels for breakfast. lol. Once we got Chas to school and him to work, I drove to the tax man's office to drop off some paperwork that hubby forgot to get to him and came home. The calico cat and the dog greeted me joyfully at the door, but my little baby cat (who's almost 3 years old, lol) was no where to be found. So I searched for 35 mins. with no luck. I immediately went into panic mode and started freaking out thinking my niece let the cat out by accident. I ended up calling hubby and sobbing and he told me to calm down. Then after saying some things I regretted about my niece, I walked into the kitchen and went to pull a chair out from the table...it's heaviness gave Preston away and I felt like the biggest jerk. I was hoping I could just get off the phone and not have to pay the piper...hubby wouldn't let me off that easily and voiced to me how I can NEVER say those things to my niece, ect. ect. I assured him I never would and never have and that we should just let it go. He agreed and here I sit with a tense tummy and swollen eyeballs. LOL. Pregnancy hormones...gotta love 'em. So, the moral of this story is, the cat is probably not gone, just sleeping somewhere he doesn't want you to know and don't react before you know what really happened. O, and I told my hubby not to shut the bedroom door anymore...for my sanity...the animals all congregate in there to sleep during the day and when he shuts the door, stuff like this happens. He was worried I was blaming him, but I assured him I knew he only ever did it out of habit. *sigh* On other news...

Baby Eliza is growing PERFECT! Dr. appt. went really well. I don't have anemia or gestational diabetes and little girl grew and the Dr. was happy with all of that. We saw her via ultrasound again on Saturday and she gave us more face time than the last 3 sessions, which was wonderful! Life is great. :)